


Empty House

by lechaton17



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, Keith needs lots of hugs, Loneliness, Suicidal Thoughts, everyone loves keith, paladin family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 01:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15919992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lechaton17/pseuds/lechaton17
Summary: They had won the battle. They had survived. But for Keith, surviving was harder than he thought . Especially when his demons were constantly coming to haunt him, making him doubt his own worth.It's up to Shiro and the rest of the paladins to remind Keith that he is, in fact, loved.T/W: mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts and injury.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had intended this to be just a one shot, but then, I just kept writing and writing and I realized it would probably be better to make this multi chapter. 
> 
> It's some heavy stuff, I wrote, so please keep the TW in mind. 
> 
> Follow me on twitter, I need VLD mutuals T.T this account is my fanfic account! https://twitter.com/lechaton171

Keith lay on his bed in his room at the Garrison, his hands folded behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. He was alone, as he had been often these days. Everyone was busy, everyone was working, and Keith was alone for the first time since Shiro crash landed back on Earth all that time ago.

 

Following their defeat of Sendak and the Robeast, his mother and Kolivan had come to visit him. Once he had been up and feeling better, his injuries healing, they had left again. There was much to be done, after all. Alliances to be made, friends to be found. Krolia promised Keith that she would be back as often as she could, holding him in her arms tightly. But so far, she hadn’t been back.

 

Hunk, Pidge, and Lance always had their family around them, laughing and joking and telling stories of the many adventures they’d had on team Voltron. Shiro, Allura, Coran, and even Romelle had been keeping busy, working with the Garrison to help teach everyone about the ways of the Galra, Altean methods, and everything else they had learned since Voltron had come together again. And then there was the rebuilding. The Galra attack on Earth had been devastating, and it would take many years for the citizens to try and rebuild their planet to what it once was.

 

Of course, Keith still saw his friends often. They would share meals and work together, or sometimes they would even all hang out and relax after a hard day’s work. But Keith felt himself becoming more and more distant from them. He was starting to realize that Team Voltron wouldn’t last forever. His friends would move on to better things. They couldn’t fight forever, after all. And soon, hopefully, they wouldn’t have to worry about fighting at all. So there really wouldn’t be a need for Voltron anymore. Right?

 

Keith groaned and rolled on his side, reaching out to pet his wolf’s fur. The wolf looked at him and blinked, making a small whimper of concern.

 

“I’m okay,” Keith told the wolf. “I’m just….”

 

But Keith couldn’t even lie to his wolf. He was afraid. Voltron, Shiro, the rest of the paladin, Krolia- they had saved him. They had showed him what it meant to be a part of something. He’d had a team. It was more than that- he’d had a family. He had people he could rely on and who relied on him. It made him feel like he really belonged for the first time in his life.

 

_I should have abandoned you, just like your parents._

 

Keith gasped as the words hit him like a knife in his heart. He unconsciously touched the scar on his face, a reminder of that painful fight. So much had happened, so much that Keith wondered how they were all still standing. He knew that Shiro hadn’t meant those words. Shiro, the real Shiro, would never say anything like that to him. But it didn’t mean the words didn’t haunt him. It didn’t mean that they weren’t always there, below the surface, making him doubt himself.

 

He hadn’t been the best teammate, or Leader of Voltron. He’d struggled befriending the other Paladins. He’d been reckless and angry. His desire to try to find himself and where he belonged had made him abandon his team when they needed them. Shiro had been stuck in the conscious of the Black Lion, unable to reach any of them, and Keith hadn’t even known it.He’d been too afraid to be the leader they needed, even though it had been what Shiro had wanted.

 

Sure, he’d come back. He’d taken over the Black Lion again, and they had won back Earth from the Galra. But that didn’t erase everything else that had happened between them. And perhaps that was why he was lying there alone on his bed, as he did nearly every day. Every day he lay there and tried to understand. He tried to picture himself being stronger, being better, being someone who mattered. But all he could do was think about all the mistakes he had made, replaying the hurtful words over and over until he started to believe them.

 

It made him begin to wonder why he was even there at all. What was he doing? Who was he helping?

 

He groaned in frustration and sat up. The wolf perked up as well, and Keith patted his head.

 

“I’m just going to stretch my legs,” he said. “You can stay here. I’ll be right back.”

 

The wolf whined but listened. Keith exited his room, nearly running into Pidge and Matt as they passed by his door.

 

“Oh hey, Keith!” Pidge said brightly, waving, but she and Matt kept walking, clearly on their way to something. Keith raised his hand in return, and watched as they walked away. For some reason, it made Keith feel incredibly sad.

 

He walked by Lance’s room, where he could hear Lance and Hunk yelling over come video game they were playing. He caught a glimpse of Shiro and Allura talking from a distance, but neither of them noticed him. Keith clenched his fists. He should say something. He should tell Shiro. He and Shiro had never really sat down and talked to one another, not even after they had finally got Shiro back. Keith wasn’t even sure how much of what happened during their fight Shiro knew about. Keith touched the scar on his face again. No one had even really asked him how he got it. There just had never been the time, he guessed. It’s not like he exactly told any of them, either.

 

Keith needed air. Turning his back on Shiro and Allura, Keith walked away, until he exited he building, the sun hitting his face.

 

No one stopped him or asked him where he was going. So he just kept walking. He walked, and walked, until he looked behind himself and realized that he didn’t even see the Garrison anymore.

 

Perhaps that was better. Perhaps he should just leave. Maybe they would all just be better off. They had proved before that they could function just fine without him.

 

Keith’s heart ached as he started to run. He ran blindly, not paying attention to where he was or where he was going. All that he knew was that he needed to run. He needed to escape the feelings that had been consuming him. It made him feel like he was suffocating no matter how much he breathed. Everyone had always left him. Everyone had always given up on him. And now, he could feel the only family he’d ever known slipping away from him as well. Before, Keith hadn’t cared that he was alone. But then Shiro had come along, and then Voltron, and Keith had started to let his guard down. He’d started to believe that he wasn’t all that alone, after all.

 

He shouldn’t have ever let himself believe it. He should have known better. He’d never been good enough, or important enough. He should have never been a part of Voltron in the first place. Shiro never should have tried to help him. He hadn’t deserved it.

 

Keith was crying, the tears flying behind him as he pushed his body to keep running, as far from the Garrison and all the memories as he could. He would run, but it would still catch up to him in the end.

 

He wasn’t paying attention to anything. He didn’t see the rock that caught his foot, nor the cliff that was just to his side. But they were there. He fell, the rocks under him giving away, and he tumbled down the cliffside. His last conscious thought was that at least he wouldn’t have to think of any of the pain anymore.

 

* * *

 

 

Shiro looked up from the documents he’d been studying, surprised to see that Keith’s wolf had just materialized in front of him.

 

“Hey, Cosmo,” he said, patting the wolf on the head. “Is Keith with you?”

 

The wolf whined, and grabbed hold of Shiro’s shirt sleeve, tugging him gently.

 

“What is it?” Shiro asked with a frown. “Is something wrong?”

 

The wolf whined more urgently. Feeling uneasy, Shiro decided to follow the wolf. The next second, he was standing outside Keith’s bedroom, the wolf waiting impatiently. Confused, Shiro knocked, but Keith didn’t answer. He pushed the door open, but the room was empty. Keith wasn’t in there.

 

“You can’t find Keith?” Shiro tried to guess. “He didn’t tell you where he was going?”

 

The wolf just whined.

 

“I’m sure he’s around here somewhere,” Shiro said, patting Cosmo’s head. “Let’s see if we can find him together, okay?”

 

Shiro stopped at Lance’s room first, since it was closest to Keith’s. Lance, Pidge and Hunk were alll inside, playing some video game they’d all been obsessed with.

 

“Shiro!” Lance said excitedly. “Do you want to join us?”

 

“No, thank you,” Shiro chuckled. “I was just wondering if Keith was in here with you.”

 

“Like Keith would ever want to play this,” Lance said with a snort.

 

“I did see him earlier,” Pidge said. “I passed him in the hallway when I was walking with my brother, but he didn’t say anything.”

 

“Oh.” Shiro sighed. “Well, Cosmo is trying to find him, so I thought I’d try to help.”

 

“I’m surprised he went anywhere without Cosmo,” Hunk said, with an added, “Oh come ON Lance, that’s cheating and you know it.”

 

“It’s only cheating when I do it, if you do it-“

 

“Alright, well, if you see him, let him know we’re looking for him,” Shiro said awkwardly, not wanting to stay around and listen to them argue. “Well, he’s not there,” he said to Cosmo as he shut Lance’s door. “Let’s keep looking.”

 

Shiro found Allura and Romelle next. The Alteans had been teaching others in the Garrison about Altean history, language, and technology, and the girls were currently explaining to some of the younger cadets about what Altea had been like, and the cadets all seemed fascinated by it.

 

“Sorry to interrupt,” Shiro said as he joined them. “Allura, have you seen Keith at all today?”

 

“Keith?” Allura asked, thinking about it. “No, I don’t think I have.”

 

“Oh, I did,” Romelle said. “I saw him go outside earlier, but he had a look on his face so I didn’t bother him.”

 

“A look?” Shiro asked with a frown.

 

“Yeah.” Romelle made and angry looking face. “He didn’t seem like he wanted to talk to anyone.” Her expression changed, looking a bit worried. “Why?”

 

Shiro looked at Cosmo, a feeling of unease building in the pit of his stomach. “Cosmo is worried, and neither of us have been able to find him. How long ago did you see him?”

 

“Hm, maybe a varga or so?” she said.

 

Allura frowned, sensing Shiro’s worry. “Why don’t we help you look for him, I’m sure he’s here. I’m sorry, but we’ll finish the story later,” she told the cadets, who groaned. She turned back to Shiro. “Why don’t you try calling him on the intercom? He’ll hear you, even if he’s just out on the grounds.”

 

“Good idea,” Shiro said with a smile. “Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

 

Keith came to, the sun blinding him. For a moment, he didn’t understand where he was or how he’d gotten there. The sun was so bright. His head hurt. More than that. His whole body felt as if it had been trampled. Every breath was painful. He tried to sit up, but his head spun and the pain was too much. He layed back down and tried to even his breathing out.

 

He opened his eyes and saw the cliff far above him. That was right. He’d been running. He’d been running, and fell. This was just great. This made everything loads better.

 

Everything felt as if he were swaying with waves on a ship, and it made him nauseous. He needed to try and figure out how badly he’d been hurt. He couldn’t focus on the pain right now.

 

He sat his head up as much as he could, groaning with pain. He had definitely at least bruised, possibly broken his ribs, and with a turn of his stomach he saw his right leg sticking out at an unnatural angle. Great, he definitely wasn’t running back anytime soon.

 

And no one knew he was out where.

 

Keith had been reckless and stupid yet again. And now he was probably going to die out where on this ledge, all by himself.

 

Keith layed back and closed his eyes. Wasn’t that kind of what he wanted? His stomach churned with the guilt of his realization. He’d just become so overwhelmed by his feelings and the pain they brought, and he’d just wanted it to end. He’d just wanted to be free.

 

He felt dizzy even with his eyes closed. He’d hit his head pretty hard, too. Keith realized he was scared. He just wanted someone to notice him. He just wanted someone to notice that he needed help. That's all he had wanted, but he had been too stubborn to ask for it himself.

 

* * *

 

 

“Keith, this is Shiro. If you hear this message, please meet me immediately at central command. Shiro to Keith.”

 

Shiro felt a bit awkward saying it, but he hoped it would do the job. “I guess now we wait,” Allura sighed, putting a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. “I’m sure he’ll show up in no time.”

 

Cosmo suddenly jumped up, alert. Shiro turned around, expecting to see Keith walking into the room, but no one was there. “What is it?” he asked the wolf. He knew that the wolf and Keith had a connection with one another, but he wasn’t exactly sure how it worked. The wolf grabbed his sleeve and the next moment, they were standing outside of the Garrison.

 

“What-?” Shiro looked around, a bit disoriented by the bright sun. He still didn’t see Keith anywhere. Cosmo started tugging on his sleeve again, pulling him away from the Garrison and towards the rocky terrain. Shiro was feeling more uneasy by the second. “Hold on!” he told the wolf, and Cosmo stopped. “Is Keith…is he hurt?”

 

The wolf whined.

 

If Keith had possibly gotten hurt, Shiro would need supplies, or help, depending on where Keith was and what his injuries were. “Cosmo,” he said, grabbing the wolf’s fur. “Take me to the Black Lion.”

 

* * *

 

 _“Keith, this is Shiro. If you hear this message, please meet me immediately at central command. Shiro to Keith._ ”

 

Lance, Pidge, and Hunk all fell silent, listening to the announcement. They exchanged worried looks. Pidge put her controller down, thinking about Keith in the hall earlier. He’d seemed okay. Or had he? Keith hadn’t always been the most talkative paladin, but he had seemed rather distant.

 

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Lance said, breaking the silence. “Right?”

 

Pidge stood up. “I’m going to go find Shiro, and see if I can help at all. I’ll feel better once we know that Keith’s just…well, being Keith. Shiro doesn’t get worried that easily.”

 

“I’ll go too,” Hunk said, standing up. “It’s a pretty big campus and all.”

 

Lance sighed. “I guess we are all going.”

 

* * *

 

 

Shiro sat down in the Black Lion, hoping that she would let him pilot her. Things had been rocky, to say the least, the last time he flew the lion. But he needn’t worry. The lion came to life almost instantly, and Shiro breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Shiro!”

 

Shiro looked and saw Lance, Pidge and Hunk all coming towards him. “We want to come with you!” Pidge said, waving. Shiro smiled, thankful for the support, and let them in.

 

“Allura, anything yet?” he asked as the other paladins joined him and Cosmo. Allura and Romelle had stayed behind, in case Keith did show up after hearing Shiro’s message.

 

“Nothing yet,” she said sadly. “I’ll let you know if he shows.”

 

“If Keith’s making us all worry like this just because he’s brooding,” Lance muttered, crossing his arms.

 

“Let’s hope that’s what it is,” Shiro sighed, and the Black Lion came to life, launching them up and out of the Garrison into the blaring sun.

 

* * *

 

Keith had been in and out of consciousness. The sun was starting to get to him, making everything feel a million times worse. He’d already thrown up once, though his stomach was mostly empty. He tried desperately to think of a way to help himself, but he couldn’t come up with any solutions. He was on a small ledge beneath the cliff he’d fallen from. He was at least lucky he hadn’t fallen further. There was no escaping the sun, not until it sunk further in the sky. He couldn’t try to walk or climb with his broken leg, and he doubted he had the strength to even try. Dizziness and nausea came in waves, . He wasn’t even sure of what else was wrong with him. All he knew was that he was hot, and tired, and everything hurt. Breathing was becoming harder. And he hadn’t seen or heard anyone. And he knew he wouldn’t.

 

Keith was coming to realize that he really was going to die out there. He wouldn’t see Shiro or Lance or any of his friends again. He wouldn’t see his mother, not even Cosmo. _Cosmo_. What a silly name. He wished he could laugh.

 

He wondered how long it would take them to realize he was missing. An hour? A day? How long had he been out there already? He had lost a sense of time, though the sun hadn’t moved too much. Maybe a couple hours. He wasn’t even sure how far he had run. He wasn't sure of anything. 

 

He’d been so, so stupid. Tears streaked down his dirty face. He didn’t really want to die. He’d just wanted everything to stop hurting. But he thought of Shiro, of Lance, Allura, Pidge, Hunk, Krolia- even Romelle and Coran- and he just wished he could see them one last time. He wanted to apologize. Would they be angry at him? Would they be sad? Or were they expecting him to fail? To give up?

 

He didn’t want to give up. He just wanted help.

 

A shadow passed the sun. An animal? A hallucination? Was all this thinking about his friends making him see things? Surely that wasn’t one of the lions above him? His lion?

 

Surely, he wasn’t that lucky.

 

The show passed him again, closer now. It was the Black Lion. That, or he had already died, and maybe this was heaven. Maybe the lion was there to take him to the afterlife. Keith wanted to laugh again. It seemed so funny to him, but plausible.

 

And then, he saw Shiro’s face.


	2. Chapter 2

Shiro's sense of urgency was mounting by the moment. As the Black Lion took off into the sky, it was almost as if it knew exactly where it was going. It _did_ know exactly where it was going; Shiro could feel it coming from the lion. “Keep an eye out,” he told the others. “I have a feeling that Keith is out here somewhere.”

 

“Do you think he got lost?” Hunk asked, looking out below them.

 

Shiro didn’t answer, his gaze fixed on the rough terrain around them. It was hot out, and if Keith had gotten lost, he may already be in the stages of dehydration. Shiro was trying to stay positive, but it was as if he knew that something bad had happened. It was as if he had an instinct. He’d known Keith a long time now. They’d went through hell together. Keith had always been there with him. Keith had always been there _for_ him. Somehow, Shiro had gone from being the protector to the protected. And he’d never really stopped to tell Keith how much he appreciated him, or even check in and see how he was doing. Keith had been through so much in his life, and Shiro felt guilty that he really hadn’t been there for Keith recently. He’d gotten so busy with his work at the Garrison and with the Atlas that he really hadn’t had time for anything.

 

“Wait.” It was Pidge. “I…I think I see him! To the right! Look!”

 

Shiro looked, and his heart surely stopped. He could see a small shape on the edge of a cliff below them. “I see him too,” Lance said, looking pale as the Black Lion descended. “Did he-is…is he-?”

 

Lance didn’t finish his sentence. The Black Lion touched down, and a second later, Shiro was on the edge of the cliff, Cosmo by his side. Keith was about 20 feet below them, laying on his back. Shiro’s breath caught in his throat. There was blood on Keith’s face and his leg looked broken from what Shiro could see. The other paladins joined him now, looking down at their friend in shock.

 

“Cosmo!” Shiro yelled, and a second later they were down on the cliff with Keith. There was barely room for the three of them. Shiro kneeled down next to Keith, relieved to see signs of breathing. Keith’s eyes were half open, but Shiro wasn’t sure if he was awake or not.

 

“Keith,” Shiro said gently, hoping for a sign of recognition. “Keith, it’s Shiro. Can you hear me?”

 

Keith’s eyes shifted to Shiro’s face, a small smile on his lips. He tried to speak, but his voice came out in a strange sort of groan.

 

“Is he alive?” Hunk called down.

 

“Y-Yes!” Shiro yelled. He needed to get Keith up there, but he wasn’t sure of his injuries and didn’t want to make anything worse.“He’s in bad shape.” He wanted to try and assess Keith’s injuries, but his fear was fighting to overpower him. Keith’s leg was badly broken. The right side of his head had a nasty gash, blood still seeping through the wound. He must have fallen on the right side of his body. He pulled up Keith’s shirt, seeing the beginning of dark, ugly bruising on his chest. His right ribcage definitely had some fractures, and his breathing was labored, making Shiro worry about his lungs. As careful as he could, he rolled Keith onto his left side, causing Keith to cry out in pain.

 

“I’m sorry,” Shiro apologized, his hands shaking. “I’m going to get you out of here, Keith. But I’m going to need to pick you up.”

 

Keith’s eyes met Shiro’s face again, but he seemed unable to speak. But his eyes said enough. His eyes said he was afraid.

 

“You’re going to be okay,” Shiro assured him. Shiro then placed his hands beneath Keith’s body, as as gently as he could, he raised Keith in his arms. Keith’s eyes were tightly shut, and a moan escaped his clenched teeth, and Shiro was crying, and Cosmo stood up, and then they were suddenly inside the Black Lion, Lance, Pidge, and Hunk all scrambling in, looking scared.

 

Shiro placed Keith back down on the floor, Cosmo lying by his side. Pidge kneeled next to them, assessing Keith’s injuries and Shiro stared down helplessly.

 

“Shiro, you need to fly us back,” Lance told him, placing his hand on Shiro’s shoulder. Shiro could barely think, let alone fly, but he knew Lance was right. He needed to get Keith to the infirmary.

 

“You got him, Pidge?” he asked, and she nodded.

 

“We got him,” Lance said, kneeling by Keith’s side as well, Hunk settling by Keith’s head.

 

Shiro nodded. “Try to hold him steady,” he told them, jumping into the pilot’s seat. “Allura, we found him!” he called, Allura’s face popping up. “But he’s hurt, badly. He’s going to need immediate medical attention.”

 

Allura looked afraid but nodded. “We’ll be ready,” she said, and signed off.

 

The Black Lion roared and set off into the sky. Luckily Keith hadn’t gotten farther out; they would be there in a few minutes, probably even sooner. “He’s definitely got broken ribs,” Pidge said. “And his leg is going to need to be set into place. His….” Her voiced trailed off for a moment. “It looks like possible bleeding in his brain. His pulse is weak.” Shiro’s heart ached with every word she said.

 

“Don’t you dare die on us,” Lance said, his voice shaking. “You’re not going to die!”

 

“Lance,” Hunk whispered.

 

“Stop- stop looking at me like that!” Lance snapped.

 

“Just stop yelling!” Shiro yelled, and they fell silent. Shiro could hear Lance sniffle, and he felt bad for yelling, but Shiro could barely think straight.

 

They were waiting with a gurney when the lion descended back down into the Garrison. Everything felt like a blur to Shiro. Allura was there, her eyes wide as she took in Keith’s appearance. And then they moved Keith to the gurney, Keith whimpering weakly. They were running, taking him to the infirmary, Pidge telling her father what she had already discovered about Keith's condition. They were in the infirmary, moving Keith to the bed. Keith’s eyes opened and met Shiro’s again. Shiro took Keith’s hand in his.

 

“We need to reset the leg,” Sam was saying. “Keith, if you can hear me, this is going to hurt. I’m sorry.”

 

Shiro couldn’t watch. He held onto Keith’s hand tightly, meeting Keith’s eyes, whispering to him that he would be okay.

 

There was a sickening crack, and Keith’s whole body jolted, causing him to let out a mangled scream. It made Shiro sick to his stomach. They placed a mask over Keith’s face as he struggled to breathe. “I do see a hematoma in the brain,” Sam muttered as he scanned Keith body. “It isn’t large, but we will need to keep monitoring it. Four broken ribs on the right ribcage, as well as a fracture to his right hip. Push the pain medication, he’s going to need it. We’ll need to get him cleaned up and stabilize his leg. And get some fluids in him as well.”

 

Keith’s eyes met Shiro’s one last time before unconsciousness overtook him.

 

* * *

 

 

When Keith opened his eyes again, the room was dark. He could hear the _beep beep_ of a heart monitor. There was a mask over his face, giving him oxygen. He tried to assess the shape he was in by wiggling his fingers and toes. He instantly regretted it. His right leg was in intense pain all the way up into his hip. He gasped, causing his broken ribs to protest as well. He looked around, but he appeared to be alone. Just like when he ran, just like when he was lying on the cliff, just like he’d always been.

 

He tried to lift his head, but the room spun dangerously, making his head ache on top of everything else. Tears leaked from his eyes. Everything hurt, and he was alone and afraid. He just wanted Shiro, or his mother, or someone to tell him he was okay. That they loved him. That he was still alive because he mattered.

 

He tried to sit up again, knowing it was useless, and it just caused him to cry out in pain and fall back into his pillows. He just needed to find someone.

 

“Keith!”

 

Shiro. Shiro was there, sounding worried. “Hey, hey, I’m right here.” Keith felt Shiro’s hand in his and squeezed it.

 

“You’re okay,” Shiro said, squeezing back. “You’re okay. There you go.”

 

Keith opened his eyes, looking up at Shiro, trying to find his voice. “Don’t leave me,” he managed to say, his throat rough.

 

“I-I’m not leaving you,” Shiro said, his eyebrows knitting together. “I’m right here.”

 

“I was alone,” Keith whispered.

 

“I know,” Shiro said shakily. “I’m so sorry, Keith. But we found you. You’re safe now.”

 

“It…was my fault,” Keith said. He needed Shiro to know. He couldn’t lie to him anymore. “I ran. I fell.”

 

“Keith-“

 

“I didn’t want to live anymore,” Keith whispered.

 

Shiro’s eyes widened at Keith's words. Keith could see that the words hurt Shiro, but his strength was already fading. The hurt look on Shiro’s face was the last thing he was before the blackness overtook him again. 

 

* * *

 

“Shiro?”

 

Shiro had his face buried in his knees, leaning against the wall in Keith's hospital room. Keith was asleep, his heart monitors beeping regularly. Shiro looked up at Allura, his face swollen from his tears. “Hey,” Allura said, bending down and placing a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. “Keith’s going to be okay. Sam said he’s doing well, considering.”

 

Shiro shook his head. “He..he told me….” Shiro sniffed and wiped his eyes. “He told me he ran, and that he didn’t want to live anymore.”

 

Allura gasped, placing her hand over her mouth and looking over at Keith. “He said that tonight?”

 

Shiro nodded. “I didn’t even notice,” Shiro whispered. “He’d probably been struggling for weeks, and I didn’t notice.”

 

“I….” Allura looked back at Keith. “I guess I noticed he was a bit withdrawn lately, but…I hadn’t really thought anything about it.”

 

“Obviously none of us did,” Shiro said, grabbing his hair in frustration. “I don’t know why he didn’t come talk to me, if he was feeling that way. He just left, without a word to any of us.”

 

Allura sighed. “I guess it can be hard to talk about,” she said. “Especially for someone like Keith, who’s always steady and strong. Maybe he was ashamed.”

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Shiro whispered. “How do I help him?”

 

She smiled sadly at him. “However you can,” she said. “At least he told you the truth now. And he’s still alive, Shiro. We’ll help him get through this. You aren’t alone in this.”

 

Shiro smiled at her. “Thank you.”

 

“Why don’t you get some rest?” she said, standing up. “I can sit with him.”

 

Shiro stood up too, but he walked to Keith’s side and sat back down. “No, I’m okay right here.”

 

Allura sighed, and took the seat on the opposite side. “Then I’ll sit with you.”

 

* * *

 

 Lance sat outside of Keith's hospital room. He hadn't been able to sleep at all. It wasn't that he was worried about Keith or anything. Sam had told them that he should be just fine, in time. But...well, Lance was worried about Keith. He'd been sure that Keith was already dead when they found him yesterday. And Lance couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle the idea of Keith dying. He and Keith had never been the best of friends or anything, but that didn't mean he didn't care. It didn't mean he didn't value him as a teammate. And, maybe, even a friend. All he knew for sure is he didn't want to see Keith die. He hated the idea of Keith even being this hurt. Sam said his injuries were serious and would take a lot of time to heal. He could only imagine how frustrated Keith was going to feel, knowing Keith. 

Lance heard voices approaching. He didn't want anyone to know he'd been sitting outside of Keith's room, so he quickly hid in an empty room across, cracking the door so he could see who it was. 

Shiro was coming down the hall, accompanied by Krolia. Lance was glad she was here; he knew Keith would want her here. 

"So what exactly are his injuries?" Krolia asked, stopping before the entered the room. She looked like she might be trying to brace herself, and Lance didn't blame her. Keith looked pretty rough. 

Shiro looked grave, and it made Lance uncomfortable. "He has some bleeding in his brain, as well as a concussion. They're monitoring the bleed, and it seems to be taking care of itself, which is good. They had to stitch the wound on his head, as well as one by his right elbow. He has four broken ribs, and some bruising, but there isn't much they can do about it. He was lucky he didn't puncture any of his organs, so that's good. His right leg had to be reset, and he's also got a fracture to his hip, which means he won't be up walking for a while." He placed a hand on Krolia's shoulder. "I know it sounds like a lot, but it could have been a lot worse. He can get through this. It'll just take time, and support. He's going to need you for this. He's going to need all of us."

Lance wished he didn't have to listen. He felt like he was imposing, and all the things Shiro had just said made Keith seem a lot worse off than what Sam had said. 

Krolia just nodded, taking a deep breath as she took in the information. "And...." Shiro looked uncomfortable. "There's something else you should know. It's important."

Krolia looked at him, her face concerned. "What else? What else could be wrong?"

Shiro looked like he was struggling to come up with words, and it made Lance a bit afraid. Shiro rarely was at a loss for words. "It's about his mental state."

 _His mental state_? "Okay," Krolia said slowly. 

"When...when Keith woke up, briefly, last night," Shiro started, looking into Keith's room, unable to meet his mother's eyes, "he was very agitated. Very afraid. I don't know all the details of what happened yesterday, and Keith hasn't been alert enough to tell us much. But...he told me that he ran out there yesterday because...because he didn't want to live anymore."

Lance felt like his stomach had dropped out of him. "What?" Krolia said, taken aback. "You mean he jumped?"

Lance backed away, the rest of their words lost to him as he retreated into the dark, empty room. He couldn't wrap his mind around the words he had just heard. He backed away until he was up against the bed, and he gripped it tightly, unsure if he wanted to be sick or throw something. 

Keith had tried to kill himself?

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think <3 
> 
> (sorry if I missed any spelling mistakes. I feel like I miss them no matter how many times I read it over aha)


	3. Chapter 3

When Keith came to again, the sun was coming through his window, the light soft and golden, telling him it was either morning or evening. His head felt a bit clearer than it had before, and slowly, the memories came back to him. Running and falling down the cliff. Lying there alone. Shiro's face. Shiro, holding his hand as they fixed his leg. And then Shiro's face again, when Keith told him-

Oh god, he'd told Shiro he hadn't wanted to live anymore. The memory of Shiro's face after Keith had muttered those words was painful to think about. 

Keith turned his head, and was surprised to see his mother sitting next to his bed. She smiled when she saw that he was awake, and leaned in, gently moving his hair out of his face. 

"Hey," she said. 

"Hey," he replied, though his voice cracked. 

"Here." Krolia reached and grabbed a glass of water with a straw, holding it close to his mouth. "Try and drink this."

Keith did as he was told. Even the small movement of lifting his head a couple inches was painful, but the water felt amazing on his throat. He drank as much as he could before leaning back into his pillows. Krolia seemed satisfied, and placed the glass back on the side table. 

"How long have you been here?" Keith asked, his voice a little better now. 

"I just arrived a little while ago," Krolia answered. "Allura called me yesterday and told me you'd been injured and that I should come right away. I wasn't sure exactly what happened, but I left immediately. I got here as quickly as I could."

So he'd been in the hospital since some time yesterday. "I'm sorry," he told his mother, afraid to look at her, instead looking at the ceiling. 

"For what?" she replied, stroking his hair again. The gesture was so comforting, it made Keith's throat tighten. 

"Making you come," he whispered. 

"Keith. Keith, look at me." He blinked and continued staring at the ceiling, not wanting her to see his watering eyes. "Keith,  I'm your mother. Yes I'm a Blade, but I'm your mother first. I know it hasn't always seemed that way. And I'm sorry. But I promise I will do better. Because...because I love you. Because you mean everything to me."

Finally, Keith looked at her, surprised to see her teary-eyed as well. His mother had never seemed like one to cry, but to be fair, neither had he.

"Keith," she said, grabbing his hand. "Can you tell me what happened yesterday?"

Keith felt a tear escape his eye and stream down his face. "I don't know," he said, the onslaught of emotions from the day before threatening him once again. "I just couldn't take feeling like...I couldn't take it anymore."

"Feeling like what?" Krolia asked, her voice barely a whisper as she wiped his tears away, ignoring her own. 

"Like..." He struggled to find words. "Like I didn't matter. Like I was just...a disappointment. Like I was nothing."

Krolia was struggling to keep herself together. "Honey, you are anything but a disappointment to me. I've never been so proud of anyone in my life. And you are the _one thing_ that matters to me."

"I...I want to believe you," Keith told her, and he meant it.

She leaned in and kissed his forehead. "Then I will tell you over and over until you do."

* * *

Keith must have fallen asleep again, because the next thing he knew, Pidge, Hunk, and Allura were all in his room. Allura sat next to his bed on one side, and Pidge on the other, while Hunk stood at the window, looking outside. 

"You're awake!" Allura said brightly, causing Hunk turned around, and Pidge to sit up a bit straighter. 

"Keith!" Hunk boomed, coming closer to the bed. "How you feeling, buddy?"

Keith grinned, and although he felt awful, he said, "I'm okay."

"You're lying," Pidge said matter-of-factly, but she smiled at him. 

Keith noticed his mother standing outside the door, talking to someone he couldn't see. She smiled at him. 

"Everyone has been so worried about you," Alllura said, and he hated how sad she sounded.

"I'm sorry," he replied, and he hoped they knew how much he meant it. "I really didn't meant to make anyone worry."

"Well next time you feel like going rock climbing by yourself in the middle of nowhere, don't," Hunk said. He meant it as a joke, and Keith knew that, but it just made him feel guiltier. Allura shot Hunk a look. 

"Hunk made you cookies," she said pointedly, making him jump up excitedly. 

"I did!" he exclaimed. 

"They're quite delicious," Pidge told Keith. "I made him make extra for me."

"Ah, I'm not quite hungry," Keith said apologetically as Hunk excitedly showed him a full plate of cookies. "Maybe later, though."

Hunk's face fell slightly, but he smiled again. "No problem. I'll sit them over here, and you can have some whenever you want."

"How are you feeling, really?" Pidge asked, her face serious. 

Keith sighed, twinging slightly. "Sore," he admitted. "And...just tired."

"Can we get you anything?" Pidge asked. Hunk and Allura looked on earnestly, and their care and attention was making him feel guiltier by the second. 

"No, thanks," he said, and they looked disappointed. 

"Hey guys." It was Shiro. Keith's heart dropped at the sight of him. "I know Keith appreciates you all being here, but he really needs his rest right now."

"Of course," Allura said, standing up. "Come on, Pidge, Hunk. We can come back later." She squeezed Keith's hand, and he could barely look at her kind face. "Get some rest," she told him. 

"And eat your cookies," Hunk added. 

"And don't push yourself at all," Pidge added sternly. 

Keith tried to smile at them. Their words felt too kind. He felt like he didn't deserve their well wishes. It was his own fault he was in this mess. It was his fault that they had all been so worried. 

Allura guided Hunk and Pidge out, leaving Keith alone with Shiro and Krolia. Krolia reclaimed the seat next to his bed, smiling sadly at him. Shiro stayed by the foot of Keith's bed, looking like he was unsure of what to do or say. 

"Are you okay?" Krolia asked Keith, sensing his distress. 

Keith turned on his left side, away from her, his body flaring in pain at the movement. He fought back the groan trying to escape him. "I'm tired," he managed to say. He closed his eyes, not wanting to talk to or look at any of them. Neither his mother nor Shiro spoke, and sure enough, sleep overtook Keith again, rescuing him from facing them. 

* * *

Lance sat alone in his room. He'd been avoiding everyone all morning, trying to understand what he had overheard earlier between Krolia and Shiro. He couldn't describe what it made him feel. He felt angry that Keith would do something so reckless when he knew how much everyone cared about him. It made him feel guilty that he hadn't noticed that Keith hadn't been happy or whatever. He just couldn't understand it. He couldn't understand how Keith could do this, after everything they'd been through. 

Lance couldn't take it. He needed to talk to Keith himself. He needed to try and understand. Maybe he'd misheard the whole situation. Maybe Shiro had been confused. Maybe there was another answer. 

He left his room, careful to keep and eye out for any of the others. He really didn't feel like talking to any of them at the current moment. But he didn't come across any of them, thankfully. Hopefully they weren't all hanging out in Keith's room. It had been a long night for everyone, so perhaps they were all catching up on sleep. That's what Lance had wanted to do, but he couldn't find the comfort of sleep. 

When he finally arrived at Keith's hospital room, only Krolia was in there. Lance hoped he could escape unnoticed, but it was no good. Krolia looked up and saw him just as he turned to walk away. 

"Lance!" she said, and he stopped with a groan and turned back. Keith was asleep, and Krolia smiled at Lance, though she looked as tired as he felt. "I was wondering when I'd see you," she said. "You can come in, it's okay. He's asleep."

Lance didn't have a choice now. He walked into the room, trying not to look to closely at Keith. He really did look bad. His face was bruised and he had bandages around his head. His arm was also wrapped, and his leg was splinted. He could see bruises peaking out the top of Keith's gown. Lance could only imagine how many bruises were hidden. It made him feel sick. 

"He'll be okay," Krolia said, standing up and putting a hand on Lance's shoulder. "I know it seems scary right now, but Keith's a fighter. He'll make it through this."

Krolia's words reignited the hurt in Lance's heart, reminding him of what Keith had done. 

"Why don't you sit with him for a bit," Krolia suggested, guiding Lance to the chair. "I needed to find Shiro, and something to eat. I won't take too long, but I don't want to leave him alone."

"Okay," Lance said, unsure of what else to do or say. Krolia smiled appreciatively at him and left, glancing back once at the door before disappearing down the hall. 

Lance sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the heart monitor beep with Keith's heartbeat. Lance felt he would never forget looking down from that cliff yesterday and seeing Keith's broken body, the blood. He wouldn't forget the way his fear had seized him, believing his friend to be dead. He wouldn't forget trying to hold Keith's body steady as they flew him back to the Garrison, begging Keith not to die. He wouldn't forget the agonized cries of pain as they rushed Keith inside and tried to get  him stabilized. 

Lance couldn't forget any of it, as much as he wished that he could. 

"I didn't think you would come."

Lance jumped at the sound of Keith's voice. Keith was looking at him, but Lance had been so lost in his own thoughts that hadn't even noticed Keith wake up.

"I didn't want to," Lance replied, and part of him felt bad for saying it, but part of him felt so angry as well. 

"Then why did you?" Keith asked, unperturbed by Lance's comment. 

Lance's hands shook as he clenched his fists. "Is it true that you did this to yourself? You tried to...kill yourself?"

Shock and guilt passed over Keith's face, and Lance knew that it was true. 

"I...I didn't-" Keith started, but Lance blew up, the fear and hurt finally getting the better of him. 

"Did you not stop to think?" Lance yelled, jumping up, causing Keith to flinch. "Did you forget how many people here give a damn about you? Did you forget all the terrible things we've already had to face these past couple years? Did you stop to think about all the innocent people we've seen lose their lives, fighting for their safety and freedom? Did you stop to think about any of that?"

Keith's eyes were wide, and Lance knew he should stop, but the words were coming faster than he could think. 

"Obviously you didn't, because if you did, you would have never done it. You would have thought about how much it would hurt Allura and Coran, after they lost their home and everyone they had loved. You would have thought about Shiro, who nearly died more than once, was held captive, who lost Adam in the war. You would have thought about us, your teammates, your friends, and everything we had been through together. Do you know what it was like for me to find you half dead on that cliff out there yesterday?"

Keith's breath caught in his throat, and Lance felt angry tears splash down his face. 

"I can't even look at you," he said, turning away. "It makes me sick to think about it. That's why I didn't want to come see you."

Lance stormed out of the room, without stopping to look back. 

 

* * *

 

Shiro, Krolia, Pidge and Hunk were all sitting together. Hunk had made lunch for all of them, and Shiro had to admit that the food helped him feel a little bit better. He hadn't eaten or slept at all, and he could feel the weariness in his body. But everything that had happened to Keith had kept him from being able to rest. Especially after Keith had begged Shiro not to leave him last night, admitting to Shiro he'd wanted to end his life.

"This is delicious, Hunk," Krolia said. She too, looked exhausted, but the food seemed to do her some good as well.

"My mom helped," Hunk said proudly. "We have a bunch of amazing family recipes, so I promise there will be more where this came from."

"I look forward to it," Krolia laughed.

"Me too," Pidge said, her mouth already stuffed.

The normalcy felt so reassuring to Shiro, for a moment he was able to forget about the pain and guilt he had been feeling. That is, until Lance stormed in, his face red and wet with tears.

"Lance," Krolia said, frowning. "What happened? I thought you were sitting with Keith?" Shiro had told Krolia this morning that he didn't want Keith to be alone for the time being, so Keith and Krolia had been taking turns sitting with him. She'd only left his side because Lance had been there.

"I couldn't sit with him anymore." Shiro had never seen Lance in such a state before. At first he'd assumed Keith's condition had upset Lance, but now he could see the anger in Lance's eyes. 

"Why-?" Shiro started, but Lance snapped at him. 

"Because I can't sit there and look at him knowing he did this on purpose!" Lance yelled, causing everyone in the area to fall silent. 

Krolia's eyes widened with understanding. She shot Shiro a look, and took off, running back to Keith's room. Pidge and Hunk both looked confused, looking from Lance to Shiro for some kind of explanation.

"Lance." Shiro stood up, his voice firm. "Let's not talk about this here."

"What, you don't want them to know?" Lance asked, pointing at Pidge and Hunk. "Maybe they should know that Keith jumped off that cliff!"

" _Lance_!" Shiro's voice elevated with anger. Lance glared at him, his eyes still shining with tears, and stomped off. Pidge and Hunk looked at Shiro, their expressions full of confusion and hurt. 

* * *

Allura was walking alone, deep in thought. Her mind had been all over the place, and the lack of sleep was catching up to her. She'd stayed up late with Shiro, watching over Keith as he slept. Her heart ached for Keith, and the pain he must have been feeling to act in such a way to get himself hurt. She wished she could have said or done something to help him. She wished she could have seen him struggling. She felt a sense of duty to each of the paladins. When she had woken up to find that her home and her family had been gone for thousands of years, it had been the paladins and Coran that had kept her from falling apart. They had given her a reason to live again, to keep fighting.

Allura was awoken from her thoughts when she ran head first into Lance. After rubbing her forehead, she went to apologize, but was startled to see that Lance in tears.

"Lance, what's-?"

"Just get out of my way, Allura!" he cried, trying to move around her, but she reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him from escaping.

"No," she said firmly. "Not until you tell me what happened."

Lance pulled his arm out of Allura's grip, but he didn't run. He just stared at his feet, silent.

"Come on," she said, and took him by the hand, leading him into an empty office. It didn't look like the office had been in use, so she was sure they'd get some privacy.

"Tell me what happened," she told him, firmly but not unkind.

Lance was silent for a moment as he wiped his eyes. "I know about Keith. About what he did."

Though Allura knew what he was getting at, she asked, "What do you know?"

"That he...." Lance sniffled. "That he jumped off that cliff."

Allura frowned. "I'm not sure that he jumped."

"I heard Shiro telling Krolia!"

"Okay," Allura replied, not wanting to argue.

"And...." Lance's shoulders slumped. "It just made me so angry that he would do that to himself. That he would do that to us. And then I yelled at him."

"At Keith?" Allura asked, surprised.

"Look, I know I shouldn't have," Lance said, looking down at his hands. "It just...it just came out. I mean, doesn't it make you angry?"

Lance looked up at her, but she saw no anger in his face.

"Actually, it makes me sad," Allura said honestly. "To get to a point where you believe that the easiest way to escape your pain is to end your life...." Allura paused, and shook her head. "It makes me sad that anyone, let alone someone I care about, would ever feel that way. And I feel guilty, for not noticing. Because I did notice. I noticed he'd been pulling away from us all recently. But I...I guess I just didn't take it seriously. We've had so much going on here at the Garrison, that I really didn't stop to think about why Keith had been so quiet. I know he's been through a lot in his life. More than I even really know." She reached out and took Lance's hand. "I don't think Keith is the one you are actually angry at."

Lance's eyes spilled over with fresh tears. "I should have checked on him. I should have asked him to come hang out with us. I just assumed he wouldn't want to, but...but what if I had? What if he'd been playing that stupid game with Hunk and me instead?"

Allura pulled Lance into her arms. "It's not that simple," she told him. "Whatever Keith has been dealing with has been building up for some time. It wasn't any one thing."

"And then I yelled at him," Lance sobbed, clinging to Allura. "I yelled at him, and y-you should have seen the look on his face. Oh, god I'm so stupid-"

"Lance," she whispered, and hugged him tighter. "We'll get through this. Keith will get through this. He has so many people who love and care about him. He knows deep down that you care for him, too. You...you'll just need to remind him. We all do."

Lance didn't reply. He just hung on to Allura in the empty office, and cried until he had no tears left to cry.

* * *

Krolia returned to Keith's room to find him in the midst of a panic attack.

Keith has gasping for breath, tears streaming down his face, the heart monitor racing. "Can I get some help!" she yelled, as she ran to Keith side. "Hey, hey," she said, grabbing his hands. "It's okay, you're okay. Look at me, Keith. I need to you to breathe with me."

She mimicked a deep breath, though it was shaky. He just looked at her as he gasped, pulling his hands away and clutching his chest.

"What happened?" Sam ran into the room, looking winded.

"He's hyper ventilating," Krolia told him. More people came in. They placed an oxygen mask over Keith's face, and someone said something about sedation. Krolia moved out of the way, trying her best not to cry. Shiro appeared, looking scared as he took in the commotion.

"What's going on?" he asked Krolia.

"We're going to give him something to help him relax," Sam answered, and sure enough, a few seconds later, the heart monitor evened back out, and Keith's hands fell to his sides as the drug took him under. Krolia turned away, and Shiro squeezed her shoulder.

"He should be okay for now," Sam said, as the medical staff filed out of the room. "Perhaps we need to talk about giving him something for anxiety. And I think it's wise that we limit the number of visitors he has for the time being. Just until he's a bit stronger. I don't want him under any unneeded stress."

"I understand," Shiro said, and Sam nodded and exited the room.

"Are you okay?" Shiro asked Krolia as she sat heavily in the seat next to Keith's bed.

"No," she sighed, taking Keith's hand in hers. "I hate this."

Shiro sat down on the opposite side of the bed, his heart heavy. He wanted nothing more than to take all of Keith's pain away.

 "So do I."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of feels in this chapter :,)
> 
> Next chapter will focus a bit on Shiro and Keith, giving them a chance to talk! Please let me know what you think of the story so far!


	4. Chapter 4

Shiro couldn't remember a time when he'd been more physically and emotionally exhausted in his life. 

It was late. The Garrison had fallen into an almost eerie quietness, and Krolia had turned in for the night. Shiro had offered to stay with Keith so she could get some real sleep, and eventually she'd agreed. Shiro had to admit that he needed to be near Keith. Time he'd spent away just left him worried, and just being there with Keith in his room made him feel a little bit better. The heart monitor, now beating rhythmically, was a reminder to Shiro that Keith was alive. Keith was alive, and still fighting. Shiro still had a chance to save Keith the way Keith had saved Shiro so many times before. 

Keith had been sleeping peacefully ever since the earlier incident with his panic attack. Seeing Keith in such a state, on top of everything that had happened from the moment Keith's wolf showed up in front of Shiro, made Shiro realize how bad off Keith had really been. The amount of pain, doubt, and guilt in Keith's eyes as he struggled to breathe in those seconds before the drugs hit Keith's system woke Shiro up to how serious this was. It wasn't some in the moment thing, or something that had suddenly set Keith off. It was something that had been growing and building inside of Keith slowly, probably beginning long before Keith and Shiro had even met. 

The amount of battles they'd fought, friends they'd lost, times when they weren't sure whether they would live or die- they took a toll. And Keith had not been a stranger to pain even before Voltron. His mother's abandonment, his father's death, and being alone and unloved for so long, stuck in a world where the only way he knew how to survive was to fight....Shiro remembered what Keith had been like when they met. He remembered how hard it had been to get through to him, to make him believe that he was worth something. Shiro had begun to make real progress with Keith. He'd finally gained his trust, and Keith had began opening up to him. He'd told Shiro about his life growing up, what he had remembered of his father. He'd even seen a bit of a spark in Keith's eyes. 

But then Shiro left. He left on the Kereberos mission, leaving Keith behind. And then everything had gone to hell. 

He remembered seeing Keith after he crash landed back on Earth. Keith had saved him from the Garrison, and Keith helped them find the Blue Lion, and in turn, Team Voltron. 

Keith had grown so much from the time they first formed Voltron until now. He'd been able to find out who he really was, and meet his mother. He'd stepped in as the leader of Voltron. He had finally let himself relax around the other members of the team. Shiro had been infinitely proud of him. 

But Shiro had also hurt Keith. 

He'd left Keith more than once, even if he hadn't done so on purpose, he knew that it had to wear on Keith. Keith had confessed to him once before that he felt like people were always leaving him. They had, for his entire childhood. And then, even after everything that had happened, even as a clone of Shiro himself had stood there and repeatedly tried to kill Keith, yelling the most terrible things, Keith had stood his ground. 

Because he'd never given up on Shiro. 

Shiro's heart clenched painfully, staring at the scar on Keith's face from where his Galra arm had burned him. Although Shiro hadn't had any control over what the clone had said or done, he hated the fact that it had happened. He hated to think of the way Keith stood there and fought on, his love for Shiro never faltering. 

Keith had saved him yet again. 

Afterwards, Keith and Shiro had never really spoke about what happened. It was as if there had just never been the time. But despite Keith's strength, and his unfaltering loyalty, everything had had happened had to have worn on him. They hadn't had the time to recover. They'd been thrown right back into battle, trying to save Earth from the Galra. 

Shiro had not been a good friend. He hadn't stopped to check on Keith. He hadn't even stopped to pull him aside and just hang out, like the used to. Shiro said he had been busy, but he would have been able to make time. He should have. He knew just as well as everyone else that Keith had gotten reclusive lately, but he had just figured that Keith needed his space. 

Keith shifted slightly in his sleep, his peaceful expression pinching slightly in pain. Sam told Shiro that Keith's recovery would be rough. It would take months. He'd be on bedrest for a couple weeks, and then would needs weeks of therapy just to be able to walk again. His head injury could bother him for days, weeks, or even months. Keith had a lot of pride, and he didn't like asking other people for help. Shiro could only imagine the struggle of simply trying to heal was going to be for Keith. Shiro couldn't help but worry that Keith's injuries would just make his mental anguish that much worse. 

"I don't know how to help you," Shiro whispered. "I want to help you, Keith. I just...I need to know what I'm supposed to do. I need to know how I can make this right."

Keith groaned, shifting slightly again. Slowly, his eyes fluttered open. He turned his head and found Shiro, blinking several times. 

"Shiro?" he said, his voice raspy. 

Shiro smiled, or at least tried to. "Hey, there."

Keith slowly blinked a few more times. "What...time is it?"

"Um...." Shiro looked at the clock. "About 3 am."

"Why aren't you asleep?" Keith asked. 

That was Keith, always worried about everyone except himself. "I had a lot on my mind."

"Hm." Keith's eyebrows pinched slightly, and Shiro saw his hand grasp the sheet under it. 

"Are you alright?" Shiro asked, but it felt like such a stupid question. 

"I'm fine," Keith replied, but Shiro knew he was lying. 

Shiro paused a moment. "Do you remember that time I took you out flying over the Garrison? You'd been getting so much better, and when we landed, you jumped out of the plane and fell and hit your knee."

A ghost of a smile came to Keith lips. "I remember. You...you asked me if I was okay. It hurt, but I didn't want to seem like a baby, so I said I was fine."

"And I knew you were lying," Shiro continued. "Do you remember what I told you, as I wrapped your knee up for you?"

Keith bit his lip, and didn't answer for a moment. "You said that we all need help sometimes, and they key of growing up was knowing when to ask for it."

Shiro took Keith's hand in his, and Keith squeezed it. "Shiro," he whispered, his eyes glistening. "I think I need help."

Keith looked so small in that hospital bed. Shiro could see the small, broken kid he had first met all those years ago.

"We'll get you through this," Shiro told him, his hand still in Keith's as Keith clung to him with all the strength he had. "We won't let you down. I won't let you down. Never again."

* * *

When Shiro woke up the next morning, the sun coming up outside the window, and Krolia was there, looking at him with a face full of affection. 

Keith's hand was still in his. They had both fallen asleep that way. And Shiro had actually gotten a few decent hours of sleep. 

* * *

 

Lance stood outside Keith's hospital room. The door was closed; Krolia and Shiro were inside, talking to Sam. Lance had avoided everyone the rest of the day, aside from Allura, who had stopped in to check on him, as well as tell him that they were going to restrict Keith's visitors for the time being. Though she didn't say it, Lance knew it was his fault. He'd done an awful thing yesterday. He'd hit Keith when Keith was already down. That was worse than awful. And Allura was right; Lance hadn't been angry at Keith at all. He'd just been afraid, and angry at himself for not being a better friend. 

The door opened, and Lance jumped. He'd momentarily zoned out in his own thoughts, and he'd been caught by Sam, who'd been leaving Keith's room. "Lance," Sam said in surprise. "Sorry, I hope I didn't get you with the door."

"No, it's fine," Lance said quickly. "I-I was just-"

"Lance." Shiro and Krolia were in the doorway now as well. Lance took a step back. 

"Keith needs his rest," Krolia said coldly, hitting Lance with fresh guilt. She was angry at him, and he didn't blame her. 

"Mom." It was Keith who spoke up. Krolia and Shiro looked around at him. "It's okay," Keith told them. "I want to see him, if I can."

Krolia flashed a look at Lance before turning to her son. "You heard what we were just saying. You need-"

"Mom look at me. I can't even sit up. I'm resting."

Shiro smiled, and Krolia sighed. "Fine," she said. She looked back at Lance. "But we will be right outside the door."

Lance let them pass, and then nervously stepped into Keith's room. Keith looked a bit better today, more alert. He raised an eyebrow at Lance, who stood awkwardly by the door. 

"I'm not contagious," Keith told him. 

"I don't know, if I get too close your personality might rub off on me."

"Then I'd be doing you a favor."

Lance grinned, and feeling a bit better, sat down next to Keith's bed. "I guess I'll just take my chances," he said, and Keith grinned as well. The grin faded, as the memory of what happened the day before settled between them. 

"I-" They both spoke at once, breaking off awkwardly. "Let me go first," Lance said, and Keith allowed it. "I was out of line yesterday. I let my emotions get the better of me, I didn't stop to think about what I was saying or doing."

"The things you said weren't wrong," Keith said quietly. 

"They were," Lance said, shaking his head. "I was wrong to judge you so harshly. I mean, its not that I agree with what...." His voice trailed off. "What I'm trying to say is, I'm not mad at you Keith.  I was just scared. And I was mad at myself, because I started thinking about all the things I could have said or done. And I just...." His voiced trailed again. Why was it so hard to put his feelings into words?

"I'm sorry," he told Keith, looking at his feet. "But I promise I'm going to be a better friend from here on out. And I know we're not like, best friends or anything, but...I'm here, you know. If you need to talk, or just like, hang out or whatever."

God, he sounded so awkward. "Thanks," Keith said, looking a little uncomfortable. "And I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for what I put you through. I never meant to hurt you, or anyone else. I...I just got so overwhelmed, that I knew I needed to get out. So I did. I walked out the door, ran out the door, and I didn't look back. I didn't stop running. I thought if I ran enough, I could get away from it."

"From what?" Lance asked, looking back up. 

Keith raised his right shoulder slightly in a shrug. "Everything."

Keith was silent for a moment. "I didn't jump," he told Lance. "I fell. But I as good as jumped. I was running, and I was exhausted. I was clumsy. I hit a rock, or something, and I lost balance."

"And you fell," Lance whispered. 

Keith nodded, wincing slightly. "There was a moment, just a moment, where I was glad. I was glad I fell, because I thought I'd escaped at last. But I hadn't. And I realized that...it wasn't that easy. And then I thought of you, and Shiro, and everyone, and I realized how stupid I had been."

"It was pretty stupid," Lance agreed, and Keith smiled appreciatively. "Just...if you ever start to feel the...everything, or whatever again, just...you can tell me. Or Shiro, or Pidge, I don't care. Just tell someone. Please. Give us the chance to help you. You owe us that."

Keith exhaled deeply. "Okay," he said. "You're right."

"Damn right I am," Lance huffed, but he smiled. Lance looked towards the door; Krolia and Shiro were there, listening. He suddenly felt embarrassed, and stood up. "Well, then, I have to go and...do stuff and all. But, uh, get some rest. Get...get better."

"I'll...I'm working on it," Keith said, holding out his hand to Lance.

Lance took Keith's hand, and gripped it tightly. 

**_One week later_ **

"You're looking well today," Allura said happily, leaning over to place a kiss on Keith's cheek. Lance scowled and crossed his arms. 

"Thanks," Keith said. He'd been much better the past couple days. It probably had something to do with the presence of his friends and family around him. It didn't make his feelings go away. His guilt, his uncertainty, his fear- it was still there, just below the surface, threatening him constantly. But his mother sitting next to his bed, stoking his hair, or Shiro telling him stories, or Hunk offering him food, Pidge telling him excitedly about the project she'd been working on- all of it made the pain more bearable. He realized that his friends, his family, they'd been there all along. They had loved him all along. 

"Where are Pidge and Hunk?" Keith asked. "I thought you said they were stopping by with you. Coran as well."

"Oh, they're coming," Allura replied, a little twinkle in her eye. "They have a gift bring you."

Keith felt his face go red. Shiro chuckled from the corner where he stood. 

"A gift?" Keith repeated. 

"A gift indeed!"

Coran made his entrance, bowing to them. "Dear Mr. Keith, Sam, Pidge, Hunk and I have been working tirelessly all week on this project for you, in hopes that it would help lift your spirits a bit."

"We could tell how restless you were getting, stuck in bed," Allura said. "So, they came up with an idea to help you out."

"Ta da!" Hunk announced excitedly, as he and Pidge pulled what appeared to be some sort of powered wheelchair in. "We were just testing it out ourselves."

"We rigged it a bit from a wheelchair we found lying around," Pidge said. "It's completely powered, and runs very smoothly. I added the leg rest on the left so you could keep that side elevated."

"We added these awesome boosters if you want to go fast," Hunk added excitedly. "I mean, you know, the safety is top notch," he said hastily after a look from Krolia. 

"Well, what do you think?" Pidge asked, her face shining with excitement. Just her expression was enough to warm Keith's heart. 

"Can we try it?" he asked, and Pidge and Hunk grinned. 

Shiro and Krolia exchanged looks, Shiro shrugging. "I think it'll do him some good."

"Alright," Krolia said. "But if I hear anything about racing, or-"

"Oooo racing," Hunk said, shrinking under Krolia's glare. 

"Let's give it a go," Shiro said, and Keith grinned at him. Shiro and Hunk moved forward to help Keith out of bed, though Shiro easily lifted Keith in his arms. The movement jolted his injuries, and Keith squeezed Shiro's arm as they settled him onto the chair. 

"You good?" Shiro said quietly as everyone watched. Keith nodded, taking a couple deep breaths as the pain faded. The chair was actually very comfortable, and he actually felt excited at the idea of escaping the hospital room for a bit. 

"This is great," he said, and Pidge, Coran and Hunk looked relieved. "Thank you, guys."

"Now what do you say to some food?" Hunk asked, and everyone jumped up excitedly. Shiro took charge of the wheelchair, leading Keith out of his room, which in and of itself was a liberating feeling. 

* * *

 

The dinner table was full of laughter and easy conversation. Everyone was there to welcome Keith back and give him their well wishes. Allura, Coran and Romelle sat together, talking about how much they enjoyed Earth's food. Pidge, Lance, and Hunk were arguing over the latest game they had been playing, and Lance told Keith he'd have to join them so he could have someone on his team. Shiro's heart felt lighter than it had in days as he watched Keith talk with his friends, and even eat a good portion of the food Hunk's mother had made for them. He even threw a few snide remarks at Lance, causing Lance to glower and Pidge and Hunk to laugh. 

However, as the evening went on, Shiro couldn't help but notice that Keith was starting to close up a bit again. His smiles and comments seemed more forced, and he often seemed to get lost in his own little world. Shiro wasn't sure if Keith was just tired, or if it was something more. Lance seemed to notice as well; Shiro saw him glance at Keith uncertainly a couple times. 

"Hey." Shiro came up behind Keith, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Want to go for a walk with me?"

Keith looked up at him and smiled. "Sure."

No one said anything as Shiro leaded Keith away from the table, but he could see their friends glance over in concern. All of them were worried about Keith, after all. 

Neither Keith nor Shiro spoke until they reached the outside of the Garrison. The stars were bright in the sky above them, the night air cool and refreshing. Keith closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

"I forgot what fresh air felt like," Keith said, opening his eyes again. "It feels nice."

Shiro smiled, leaning against the side of the building as they took in the starry sky. They were silent for a few more moments, until Shiro couldn't put off his question any more. 

"What happened in there?"

Keith didn't respond for a moment. "Nothing," he said, but caught eye of Shiro's disbelieving look and sighed. "It was nothing," he said again with a sigh. "It felt good to be out with everyone, talking and eating like everything was normal."

"But?" Shiro asked, knowing their was more to it. 

"But I...I started feeling...disconnected," Keith answered, looking at his hands. "I wasn't trying to. I didn't even really think about it. I just...."

"Hey." Shiro knelt next to Keith so they were on the same level. "It's going to take some time. It's okay. Maybe it was a little much for your first night out of bed. I think everyone was just excited to have you back."

Keith smiled. "I'm happy to see everyone," he said. "And I'm so thankful to Pidge and Hunk and Coran for giving me this. I wish I didn't need it, but I'm happy to have it."

"You'll be up walking in no time," Shiro told him reassuringly. "And it'll get easier. Just do me a favor, okay? Don't push yourself. It's okay if you aren't ready. It's okay to not be okay."

He wasn't talking about walking, but he knew Keith understood. Every day was a challenge. Shiro was learning things he could say and do to try and help make things easier for Keith. All he really had to do was pay attention and listen to what Keith was saying. 

"Thanks, Shiro," Keith said, closing his eyes. "The air really helped. I think we should come out here more often, if we could. It feels nice to have the open sky above me."

"Okay," Shiro agreed. "We can do that."

Keith smiled, his eyes still closed. "You tired?" Shiro asked him, and Keith nodded. 

"My leg's starting to bother me," he admitted, though he looked embarrassed to say it. At least he was admitting his pain at all. 

"Alright," Shiro said, taking control of the wheelchair again. "Let's get you to bed."

"Will the others-?" Keith started, but stopped abruptly when he saw Lance, Pidge, Hunk and Allura all waiting for them near the door. 

"Heading to bed?" Allura asked as they approached, and Shiro nodded. "Alright," she said, smiling warmly. "Get some rest." She squeezed Keith's hand. "Thank you for joining us."

"Glad you liked the food," Hunk said, patting Keith's shoulder. "We'll get some meat back on you in no time."

"Let me know if there's anything that will make the chair better for you," Pidge said. 

"And don't forget you're gonna help me beat them the next time we play our game," Lance added, and Keith laughed. 

"Thanks, guys," he said, and he really meant it. "Thank you for everything."

"Awww, Keith," Hunk sniffled hugging him, and soon Pidge was hugging him, and Allura, and even Lance. Keith realized how much he needed their hugs, and he held on to them tightly, Shiro's hand firmly on his shoulder. 

Maybe he really would make it through, after all. Because he wasn't alone. He had his family by his side. 

 


End file.
